No Cold Feet

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"No Cold Feet"
Campaign 1 One-shot
Session no.Session OS4
Session dateMarch 19, 2022
Start dateAugust 20, 353 WSK
End dateAugust 27, 353 WSK
Bunnies as the Dungeon Master
Narrative chronology
"Debt Collector" (1xOS03)
"The Heart Caper" (1xOS05)
Session order
"Debt Collector" (1xOS03)
"The Heart Caper" (1xOS05)
List of One-shots
List of Campaign 1 sessions

"No Cold Feet" (1xOS04) is the 4th one-shot of the first campaign of Itora.


In the 3-4 weeks she waits for Magpie to return to port, Versa buys a magical ring box that shows the bearer visions of some of Versa's happiest memories of her and Magpie's relationship, and a chew toy in Versa's image for Boomerang.

Versa's Many Gifts

Versa meets the Avarice at port, and after the customary reintroductions she tells Magpie that she's found a map in her research that she thinks would be an interesting location to check out. Magpie indulges her, and they set out a few days later.

On the trip, Versa sets about giving Magpie all the small gifts she's collected over her adventures:

  • The colour-changing rock, which is unfortunately a baby-puke yellow at the time, but Magpie still thinks it's cool.
  • She also likes the tiny model of the Avarice.
  • Magpie isn't impressed by the eagle feather, and is more interested in making sure Versa killed her own murderer.
  • The diadem goes down very well, especially after Versa places it on her head and declares Magpie Queen of the Pirates. Versa also promises to give her new queen an airship, which Magpie deems an adequate offering.

A Step Toward Recovery

On the second night, Versa has her recurring nightmare about Magpie killing her. She leaves the captain's quarters and sits on the side of the ship to catch her breath. Magpie eventually joins her. Versa, pretending nothing is wrong, gives her the orb that glows in starlight. Magpie gasps in delight. After a short while, Versa nervously asks Magpie for a glass of wine. When Magpie returns with two glasses in hand, she takes one and downs half of it before she is forced to come up for air. This immediately triggers a mild panic attack. Once she's calmed down again, Versa explains that she's tired of being scared Magpie will hurt her, and needs to work on recovering. This involves trusting Magpie instead of compulsively checking everything she's given for poison. Magpie understands, and says she will be there for her every step of the way.

Versa starts worrying even more on the third day, when their destination is almost in sight. She tells Kismet that she isn't sure whether she can actually propose after all, because in her mind it's entirely possible that Magpie only pretended to be interested in marriage to be nice. Kismet threatens not to let her read her fanfiction, which features Versa and Magpie as background characters, if Versa doesn't propose. Insulted, Versa turns to ask Kevin his thoughts but thinks better of it when she finds him spread-eagle on the deck letting the snow slowly bury him. She asks Lure, who flicks Versa's forehead and says it's far too late to back out now, since everyone - besides Magpie, apparently - already knows what they're there for.

Finally, as Versa's panic is reaching a crescendo, they pull into the bay, which is encircled by cliffs of ice and snow. The Avarice carefully navigates through the icebergs in the bay. Versa, Magpie, Kismet and Ricoril get into a rowboat, go ashore, and start climbing up a path on the side of the cliff.

A storm drifts in when they are about halfway up the mountain. Just as it's becoming too dangerous for them to continue, they see a light approaching through the heavy snow, held by an old man who offers them shelter in a cave. He offers them food, which Versa carefully checks for poison, and then tells them all to bed down for the night. Everyone does - except Versa, who stays up as late as she can, keeping watch and mulling over whether she should propose after all. She finally concludes that it might be too early, and decides to set it aside for a few months.

The Fall

The next day, the old man leads them up to the top of the cliff where the group is greeted with a breathtaking view of the bay below. Fog drifts slowly over water that's glittering in the sunrise, the ice cliffs around the bay glow in shades of pink and blue and orange and green, birds wake up in the snow-covered trees behind them and take flight while singing. The group is entranced in that early morning scenery for a very long moment, until Versa shakes it off and subtly picks up a handful of snow. She dumps half of it down the back of Kismet's shirt, the other down the back of Magpie's, and darts off when a snowball fight breaks out.

Eventually, after several snowballs are exchanged, Versa chases down Magpie and tackles her into a snow drift near the top of the cliff. Kismet, seeing the two looking at each other a little breathlessly, draws Ricoril and the old man away.

Versa brushes a few snowflakes from Magpie's face, completely infatuated. In this light, flushed and happy, Magpie is the single most beautiful thing that Versa's ever seen. Versa's so overwhelmed and distracted that she doesn't even realise she's whispering "Marry me" until a full second or two after it's left her mouth, at which point it's too late to back out. As soon as she realises, she abruptly sits up and searches her pockets for the prompt cards she prepared, stammering that she had an entire speech prepared, but Magpie flips the two of them over and kisses Versa and says "Yes, of course. Yes!"

Versa, excited, playfully rolls them over again so she's on top - and the two of them topple over the edge of the cliff they'd both forgotten was there.

It's a sloping cliff, so they don't fall so much as they roll. They oddly don't seem to be hurt by the cliff side on the way down, but Versa still panics when the two of them are separated and casts Feather Fall on Magpie just to be safe. She dislocates her shoulder in the process. Eventually they roll to a stop on the beach, and Versa fearfully leaps up to find Magpie laughing in delight in the snow.

Wow, you really went all out! Near death experience and everything... I was impressed before, but I'm even more impressed now. I've been preparing to propose to you for ages but I hadn't planned anything out in nearly this much detail...
— Magpie to Versa

Versa, stunned, says she takes back the whole proposal because she wants to see what Magpie had planned. The two of them strike a deal: they'll keep their new engagement secret until Magpie is ready to propose back to Versa. Versa formally gets on one knee and offers Magpie the ring, which Magpie happily lets Versa put on her finger. They spend a while being sickeningly sweet together, and then head back to the ship, the picture of innocence, with the ring hidden under Magpie's glove.


The old man, Kismet, and Ricoril peer over the cliff's edge together.

I'm pleased. There's enough evil in the world; it's good to see love overcome now and then.
— Old Man to Kismet and Ricoril, about Versa's proposal.

Ricoril notices that the old man's eyes look slightly reptilian momentarily, just before he and Kismet start heading back to the ship.

Later that evening, Versa idly asks Magpie how she decided on her name. Magpie describes the Blancgarten magpies, which are known for being protective and scary creatures always looking for a fight; she reveals that when she was younger she knew she needed a pirate name, and settled on Magpie because she considered herself "a little asshole always picking fights". Versa looks at her very seriously and makes it 100% clear that Versa is her real name;

If we’re going to get married, I want you to know who I am. All of who I am.
— Versa to Magpie.

Magpie looks away, and quietly asks if Versa wants her to reveal her own real name. Versa says she would be honoured, but that she understands if Magpie doesn't feel comfortable with it.

I don’t really see myself with that name anymore. You know me as Magpie, you love me as Magpie, and that’s enough.
— Magpie to Versa.

Versa is slightly disappointed, but says she understands.

The next day, Ricoril mentions the old man’s eyes. Versa, thinking about it, realises that the old man might have been a dragon. Before the ship leaves, she runs back up to the cave but doesn't find the old man there. Instead, she leaves a note:

I'm sorry we left without thanking you! We were kinda caught up in the moment. If you can help us again though, we rescued a dragon turtle egg a few months ago, but we lost Baet shortly after he hatched and we're very worried. We're trying to find him so we can make sure he's safe. If you have any information, even if it's just to tell us he's okay, can you let us know? Thank you again. So much. You can come to the wedding if you like?
— Versa and Magpie's letter to the old man.

Finally, the Avarice heads back to Ockburn, with most of the crew (pretending to be) unaware of their captain's new engagement.

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